A Challenge
by JoeMerl
Summary: Gaz's love life confuses Dib. One-sided KAGR, GAGR and GAIR. Not Dib/Gaz.


I don't know what the point of writing this is. It was just in my head and wanted to get out, and it was pretty short (though like all my fanfictions, I spend several days "fixing it up" with probably little actual improvement...but I digress). And before somebody flames me, I will outright admit that that song (which was the original inspiration for this story) is not my own; kudos to those who know its origin. (For those who don't, feel free to go to www.southparkstudios dot com, with /clips/154027 on the end, to hear the original version--though warning that that clip is weird and not PG.)

Now let the ridiculous pairings begin!

* * *

_Tink-tink._

Two pebbles bounced off of Dib's bedroom window. He groaned and rolled over in his sleep, pulling his pillow over his gargantuan head to block out the noise.

_Tink-tink!_

Two larger, louder pebbles tinkered off the glass.

All Dib wanted to do was sleep. It had been a long day--a big test at skool, mountains of homework, and then a late-night foiling of Zim's newest evil plan, which had involved a radioactive microwave oven and a pair of maniacal tube socks. After dragging himself back home at 11 PM, all he had wanted to do was quickly wash the toxic waste out of his hair and go to sleep.

Whoever was outside, though, didn't seem to care.

_Tink-CRACK!_

That one had been big enough to crack the window, and Dib, realizing further inaction could lead to him being concussed in his sleep, groaned and sat up in bed, blinking blearily. Now he could also hear another sound, fainter and perhaps even stranger than the stones--was that music? Annoyed, Dib got up and walked slowly over to the now-cracked window, his vision blearly from a combination of tiredness and not-wearing-his-glasses...ness. All he could see out there were what looked like vaguish blobs standing out on his lawn, a fuzzy green one and another a mixture of purple and brown, bobbing in the air.

Dib heard a sudden riff of music, like the strings on a guitar being strung. He moved closer to the window and squinted harder, until he realized that purple-and-brownish blur was a tiny, floating creature that was somehow managing to hold some kind of an instrument--a lute?--in its nubby little hands. The greenish blur was now moving its black arms, nearly invisible in the darkness, and singing in its squeaky, childlike voice up at Dib's window like a very strange Romeo at Juliet's mansion:

_"Oh Gaz, you are so perfect,  
So spectacularrr in every way!  
You bring light into my life, Gaz.  
You almost make me forget all about--  
Tacos! Ooh, tacos so good!  
In my tummy, yummy yummy, give me more!"_

He fell to his knees, holding one arm over where his heart should have been, holding out the other towards the window as though straining to reach his beloved inside.

"_I love you, Gaz!  
You almost make me forget about...  
Tacos!"_

He spread his arms wide and dramatically, his voice crying out into the night. Dib sighed and stuck his head out the window so the pair could see him better, pointing and looking annoyed.

"Gaz's window is the next one to the left. No--no, _my _left," he explained, as the pair ignored his pointing and looked around in confusion.

"Oh. Thanks, Dibbers!" GIR said, picking himself off the ground and waving genially. He took up the heavy end of Minimoose's lute, and the two set off around the house to their proper location.

Dib sighed and turned back into his room, before suddenly the bush outside his window shook. He froze, then turned back sharply. "Who's there?" he demanded, squinting out into the black again, glaring suspiciously through his near-blindedness.

More rustling, then two figures tumbled out of the bushes. Even without his glasses, Dib easily recognized Keef by his distinct ruff of curly red hair, now sporting bits of twig and leaf. The other figure, an overweight and slightly mad-looking child, Dib only vaguely knew as being a kid named Iggins who Gaz absolutely hated. Both were holding musical instruments of their own and looking up at him sheepishly.

Dib sighed, pointing again. "Next window to the left."

"Thanks, buddy!" Keef called with a wave even more joyous than GIR's, and the two ran off after the robotic pair.

Dib closed his window with a sigh and turned back into his room, walking zombie-like back towards his bed. He wondered vaguely why Gaz was so popular with the boys. Maybe it was just their relationship blinding him to the fact, but as far as he could tell, she was not particularly pretty, and certainly not sweet or kind or sociable; he could not think of a single time she had ever said or done anything remotely flirtatious to anyone, or indeed acted towards anyone in a way that wasn't either violent or rude. And certainly GIR, Keef and Iggins all realized that she kept a pile of bricks on her windowsill now, awaiting their arrival? Granted, they didn't seem to really hurt GIR, and Keef had the uncanny ability to not die when he really logically should have, but Iggins had had been in the hospital for a week after last month's cinder block to the head...

"I guess some guys just like a challenge," Dib muttered, before falling face-first back onto his bed. A moment later he was fast asleep again, as the clang of a brick hitting metal sounded from somewhere in the darkness outside.

* * *

...

One-sided Keef/Gaz forever! (Raises arm in salute.) I'm not sure if I'm the first one to come up with that pairing, but I think it's perhaps even better than GIR in terms of pure silliness. :-) As for Iggins...well, that boy is just _doomed._


End file.
